And not getting anything done.



Sorry.

I've just been depressed, you see.

I've been doing that more and more often.



I've actually noticed - it used to only hit me on a less-than-annual basis.

Then it was a less-than-monthly basis.

Now I'm lucky to make it through the day without a debilitating bout of, "O, why bother".


I haven't done anything faintly significant since I learned the Greek alphabet. It was shortly after that that I completely gave up on life.


I have entertained the idea of running away to die of poverty in Europe. Might as well die somewhere with nice architecture.





I just needed to fume a little. I realise I've been doing that a lot - but as I said, I've been having more and more frequent bouts of debilitating depression.




I'm at the point of transition or die with no health care, and even if I did have it, dying still seems slightly more favourable than becoming some kind of even more pitiful half-creature. And all that bother with moving out, finding a new job and a new place to live.







I'm sorry if you know me and this is too personal for you to deal with. I know, it's easier for me to think of myself as much simpler and happier than I really am, too.